This might be long, sorry.. Okay, so I am 21 and I have been married almost 3 years now. I moved in with him when I was 17 and we’ve always had fiights, as I know every couple does. Problem is, we fight physically. He has never hit me (just the occasional pushing, spitting, shaking and throwing me), however I can not say the same bc i have punched him before in the heat of the moment, and i know that is never ok. He is mentally abusive too (i’m a slut, my mom doesnt love me, I’m fat, I’ll never find anyone to love me like he does bc im so ugly and/or F’d up in the head.. etc) =( I know we both have anger management problems but when we fight, about 2 out of every 10 times, it gets physical with us. Over stupid stuff, like I won’t want to have sex, or I’m not talking enough.. etc. He started tattooing two years ago, and he “loves” his job. Wants to move around and tattoo & travel in different places. I am boring I guess, b/c I’m perfectly happy working at a bank, and having health insurance and 401k. I have tattoos but I’m not really that into them now that its his life, basically. He is miserable here in AL and feels “stuck” in our home (we bought from my mom) and between all the fights, and having nothing in common, we’re not the same anymore. Problem is, I just don’t know what to do. My gut is telling me to leave, but I do love him. However, its been to this point of about to file before & I’ve came back b/c it was the “easy” thing to do. I feel its going to be the same thing a month down the road where we get into a knockdown drag out fight and I leave and he cries and begs me back (even though its both our faults, im not saying it isnt). I love him so much, but while we’re still young I feel its best to just get it over with before we both become depressed, more resentful, and god forbid, have a child (we tried to get pregnant for 2mos then stopped, must have been a sign from god. i dont know why i think i thought it would make us better) But i’m scared. And he is too I just dont think he can mentally handle a divorce, he’s scared to be alone, but we’re both financially stable enough to go our separate ways so income is not an issue.
The only thing that I see being a problem is our house. Both our names are on it, and he wont want to stay here if we get divorced & he’ll want to move back to TN with his mom. Is me living in it until i can get it sold, an option? I care very much about my credit and banking is an industry I’d like to stay in. I’m thinking we wont argue about assets, so is online divorce an option? I don’t have $4k just laying around for a divorce. And if I file, do I have to pay for it?
I’m just scared he’ll do something crazy (once when i tried to leave, he pulled gun to his head [unloaded but i didnt know that] and his mom made me feel like a b*tch about it so i came back. We’ve tried to make it work, he still wants to, but I’m not so sure. If we’re going to wind up divorced one day anyway, I’d rather get it over now. I love him so much and want him to continue a career that he loves but I don’t think I’m strong enough for that and I want to go to school as well…
He’s just so emotional, I can see him begging me back, and if I wont take him back, running my name into the dirt and being very mean to me, if I decide to go through with the divorce.
After you divorced, how did you feel? Did you feel like you made a mistake? How soon were you able to get on with your life, and were you embarrassed to tell everyone that your marriage failed.

Tagged with: About • Confused • divorce • feelings • House • it's • Maybe • mistake • scared

Filed under: How to Get a Divorce Online

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