Article by Elle Peterson

You’re getting ready for a long awaited couples-only dinner party with your spouse. As you put the finishing touches on your outfit and reach for your keys, they stand in the doorway with the look on their face, one that signals trouble in paradise.Caught off guard, you briefly pause and ask, “Honey, is everything okay?”They shift their gait, loudly gulping for air. “I don’t think I’m going to make it to this party, hon.”Brows furrowing in annoyance, you’re not interested in any silly games right now, especially seeing as you’re both dressed and ready to walk out the door. “It’s too late for that. Stop playing and get in the car.”"No. I can’t do this,” they continue cautiously, avoiding eye contact. “I… I want a divorce.”Your breath draws sharply. You expected any other reason from them not to go, perhaps to watch the game, or simply because they don’t feel like dinner. Yet, deep down you know better.Deep down, you anticipated this; the day where either you or your cheating spouse would put an end to unhappy, miserable marriage and file for divorce. Still, you can’t help but feel shocked by the revelation. Truthfully speaking, this isn’t an abnormal reaction. Nobody can truly prepare themselves to acknowledge that their “relationship failed,” no matter how long they’ve been unhappy or what caused the split.After you pick up your face from off the floor, it’s time to inform your friends of the news. While the last thing you want to do is continuously relive the experience, you do not need to be alone right now. Handling this yourself is not the best option, especially for the first 24 hours or so. Besides, informing your best buds keeps you grounded in several distinct ways.You Can No Longer Hide from the TruthOnce you announce your pending divorce, you cannot take it back. You’re forced to live with and come to terms with the truth much quicker than if you chose to hide and deny that your marriage is over. Although it seems much more comfortable and safe to check out of life until further notice, you’ll only delay the recovery process.Verbalizing your pain and discussing what happened begins the emotional purging process. The crying fits and wails are painfully dreadful to deal with, but now the truth has been let out and acknowledging the truth helps you remove any denials about what’s happening.Lastly, you’ll be reminded that you’re not unloved. Your soon-to-be ex-husband or ex-wife may not want to remain married to you (or save the marriage, if you’re the one who requested it), but other people still enjoy your company and their relationship with you. You might be joining the Divorce Society, but you’re not completely alone in your journey.

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My husband has filed for divorce how can I stop it? You will need to put some manual labor in to this, but an elevated ratio of marriages can be saved than you think. You can bring to a standstill a divorce if you learn exactly which techniques to use to get your significant other to re-evaluate him staying in the marriage. If you look at the divorces that are taking place today, they are occurring for the incorrect reasons. Your spouse may determine that you no longer believe that they are offering anything to the matrimony and become immensely angry with you about this. There rage can get out of control with time, and before you bat an eyelid, he has filed for divorce.

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From all of the comments that I get on my blog, the ones from wives whose husbands have just filed for divorce are often the most panicked.  There’s no question that being served with or being given divorce papers can cause panic, and the perception that the clock is now ticking.  Most of my readers want to save their marriages despite the fact that their husbands have made it clear that they want out.  However, once a divorce is initiated, the process of saving your marriage is a bit more tricky because you can’t know or predict the outcome, and your marriage has now become part of the legal system. 

I must tell you upfront that I’m not a lawyer and I can not offer you any legal advice.  I write about, and my experience lies, with preventing divorces by strengthening and rescuing your marriage, so this article will focus on that aspect, rather than on legal matters about which I have no experience.  I was in this situation myself a few years ago and I was able to turn it around.  The divorce never happened, so I will share with you ways that I was able to avoid it.

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The other day, I got an email from a wife who was filled with regret.  To make a very long story short, she and her husband had been having problems for quite some time.  They still loved each other, she thought, but the relationship had evolved into something that neither of them recognized any more or liked very much.  So she filed for divorce because she didn’t know what else to do. There were no huge fights or volatile times.  They had simply “drifted apart” and “fallen out of love.”  They had tried desperately to reignite the spark but had not been successful.  After a while, filing for divorce seemed like the “right thing to do.”  So, the wife did.

However, every time she had to interact with her husband, she was filled with regret and longing.  It hurt her deeply to even see him.  She wanted to fall into his arms when they sat across the table from one another in the lawyer’s offices.  The husband was not that receptive to her because her filing for divorce had very much hurt him.  She worried that she’d made a huge mistake that she could not undo.  She worried that it was really too late.  She wanted to know if she should be honest and tell her husband that we wanted to try again or if she should just go through with the divorce, as painful as it was, and cut her losses.  I will tell you what I told her in the following article.

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I often hear from spouses who are desperate to save their marriages before the divorce becomes final. Often, their spouse has filed for divorce when ending the marriage is the last thing that they want. And typically, they’re willing to try almost anything to stall, stop, or delay the divorce. They’re desperate to buy some time in order to save the marriage before it’s too late to do so.

I recently heard from a wife who said, in part: “My husband filed for divorce last month. I’m shattered over this. I don’t want to end my marriage. I still love him. I don’t want to break up our family. But, he’s going forward with the divorce even though I begged him to work with me on the marriage and to at least give us a chance. He resists me. He doesn’t listen to me. What can I do to facilitate a reconciliation before it’s too late? He doesn’t seem motivated, but I think I’m motivated enough for both of us.”

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Do we have to file again or is it set? I know its at the courthouse clerks office but If I have to move after filing will this stop and have to start over everything as I don’t want to have to stay with him doing what he is doing around me but have to stay to see divorce is properly filed and paid for?

I’ve found several websites trying to get you to subscribe for a year or 2 years for 50 bucks, but all I want to know is if someone has filed for divorce in Arizona. I don’t really need any details, just to know if it’s been filed for. Is there a website that can provide this? I haven’t been able to find it.

She filed divorce papers on 4-20-09 Thank God! I gave her the house I just got, along with everything in the house. I only want my two big screen tvs and my stereo. She’s asking for me to pay a debt to small claims. That is our only dispute of property. No kids involved. How long is it till I am FREE?

Could a person be held in contempt of court, or is there consequences of somesort for filing for a divorce in one state(CA) when she knowlingly has been filed against for divorce in another state(FL)?

Basically, this chick had a year to file in her own state, was given the funds to do so by her “husband” but delayed the process so she can take advantage of the benefits of being a MILITARY WIFE (although seperated from him for over 2 years).
He took it upon himself and filed in FL, she received the Divorce Decree and did not respond. He has yet to receive any paperwork she has filed, signed or countered. It has been her 45 day deadline also.
She is now seeming as if she has finally started the process of divorce in her own state of CA. Yet, she knowingly has a case in FL already pending her response.She is trying to make it seem as if her state divorce (CA) is “easier” and “better”, so that he will stop his and sign hers.

He is Active Duty Military, being oversees and no stable residence is his for prolonging the marraige, hers was the benefits and the money! It was a brief marriage that lasted less than 6 months but do have a child in the midst of it as well.
He has been sending the child money although it is not court ordered. That is also in the Divorce Decree for child support that HE filed against himself.
I must add this will be HER 3rd Divorce! Most of them Military men! He didn’t even know she was married before him! Until the marraige license came about!

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This guy I met online says that he is legally separated from his wife, but has to wait for 2 years to get a divorce. Are separation papers public knowledge and is there a way for me to find out whether he is in fact legally separated (without him knowing, of course). He is a British citizen and living in Britain.