Article by Leslie Cane

I recently heard from a wife who had come up with a strategy that she hoped would get her husband’s attention and make him recommit to her marriage. She was considering serving him with divorce paper in order to “scare him” into saving the marriage.

She said, in part: “my husband is very noncommittal about saving our marriage. He seems to always be on the fence. He has no sense of urgency at all and always tells me that he wants to “wait and see” what happens. I want to be very proactive and work very aggressively on saving our marriage and getting the passion back. My husband will admit that we have problems. He will admit that we need to do something. But he isn’t sure what he wants that “something” to be. He’s mentioned separation, a break, or a divorce, but he never mentions doing any real work to make our marriage better. I’m just thinking that if I force his hand a little bit, he may be scared or alarmed enough to actually work with me.”

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Choosing a good divorce lawyer is important if you believe that you may be facing a divorce. Every state has hundreds if not thousands of lawyers available for hire; however the best legal counsel that you can consider when facing a divorce, is a lawyer that specializes in divorce cases. Knowing how to find a good lawyer that can help is also important, so there are some things to keep in mind when searching for one.

The first step in choosing a good divorce lawyer is to search online and read reviews about lawyers in your area. When you know family or friends who have been through a divorce, they are more than happy to recommend their lawyer when they had a good experience. Reading reviews and getting recommendations is always a good way to learn about how lawyers have treated their clients.

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Learning tips on how to find the best divorce lawyer for your budget has become more important than ever. This relates to the increase in divorce seen today. Ultimately, during a divorce people are not always thinking clearly and this is something to avoid, since in most cases people have many things to protect and the last thing that someone wants is to be stuck with a bad decision that they had made during an emotional time.

Today, there are so many different choices when it comes to someone making the choice of a divorce lawyer they want to use. During this kind of emotional time, scanning through the yellow pages may become overwhelming and not something that is easy. Although this time is one of the most stressful times to go through, there are ways to choose someone without making things harder than they need to be.

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Divorce is a painful experience. The emotional burden of the experience is painful enough without the financial burdens arising, truly as they say, a divorce settlement can either make you or break you. Therefore, it is crucial you hire the best divorce lawyer in this time of emotional despair and make sure that you get what you deserve in a divorce settlement.

Like most things, your research in the beginning can save you from a lot of problems in the future. You would want to discuss your problems with some friends or family of yours that have been through the same experience and ask for their suggestions of lawyers as well as their experiences.

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After several years of marriage, you want to divorce or to break up with your partner. There are, however, some things you should know in order to avoid or minimize the complications involved in divorce. Here are five practical tips on how to find a good divorce lawyer.

Tip #1
When searching for the right divorce attorney, it is extremely important to know that a good divorce lawyer is not necessarily the right attorney for you. Every case is different. What matters the most is to choose an attorney experienced in handling divorce cases. Also, opt for a divorce lawyer who has the ability to communicate effectively with you.

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My husband and I are best friends, we just aren’t in love anymore. We have a little girl together whom we both love more than life. I would like to get a divorce kit from Office Depot and file myself since I cannot afford an attorney. The house we live in is his. It is my daughter’s home and I do not want to sell it. I would like to continue living together (we’ve slept in separate bedrooms for 7 yrs) as roommates. I think it will be less expensive for him than paying alimony and child support, and I definitely cannot afford an apt alone. I am not seeing anyone, neither is he, we just aren’t happy together. How can I approach the situation with him and explain that I’m trying to help us both financially, and it will be better for our daughter to have Mom and Dad together under the same roof, even though we’re not married any more?

I really just want a fair divorce, but my wife keeps indicating that she is going for as much money as she can get from me. How can I find a good divorce lawyer. I DONT want to go to court and waste thousands on layers, but my wife is getting a layer and is going for as much as she can get. Any advice? I wish we could do the divorce without lawyers, but in my wife words, “I just want what I want”.

Whether you have considered filing for divorce, or are in the middle of one now, you have heard of mediation. In a Florida divorce, sooner or later you will go to a mediation, either before you file the case; or during the case because Florida judges refer the case prior to setting a date for trial. The question, then, what is mediation; and what good will it do in your divorce?

Mediation is one of the alternatives to litigation; in other words, an alternative to a trial; and has several important advantages for you. You will use a mediator, who will facilitate communication between you and your spouse. Mediators are not judges; they cannot make you agree, they can simply help you to agree. This is very important in litigated cases, where each party (and sometimes their attorneys) become rigid in holding their positions in a case, and may not consider certain weaknesses of their case because they are so close to the issues.

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Elizabeth Marquardt presented her book, “Between Two Worlds” (Crown Publishers, 2005), as based on groundbreaking research that provides new insights to the true impact of divorce on children. Her key conclusions are that there is no such thing as a “good divorce”, that 75% of all divorces are from “low-conflict” marriages where parents should choose to stay together, and that divorce creates enduring, harmful effects because it forces the children to navigate the separate worlds of their parents. This allegedly leaves children feeling alone, spiritually, morally, and religiously lost.

As a psychologist who has worked with children and families for forty years, my reading of this book led me to conclude that Ms. Marquardt’s research was quite flawed and that she appeared to selectively choose results to support her hypotheses while ignoring data that challenged her main points. Despite being quickly ordained by the media as providing strong evidence that divorce really is harmful to children and that it creates a lasting anguish in their lives, I do not believe the book actually makes such a case. In fact, I believe the book shows there is such a thing as a better divorce and that staying together for the sake of the children does not result in better outcomes for the adult children of these families.

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We know from long experience that only collaborative divorce — not old-style adversarial legal representation, and not a single mediator working with or without lawyers in the picture — views divorce as a complex experience requiring advice and counsel from multiple perspectives if it is to be navigated well. Collaborative divorce prepares you to deal with the emotional challenges and changes associated with divorce and provides the resources that can best help you make a healthy transition from married to single.

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